Word count: Oh wait. I don't have to do that anymore.
I was going to write yesterday then I didn't. Lazy, lazy. The big goal this month is compiling the 60 page manuscript. That's a lot of pages. I may have to enlist reinforcement for opinions. I also have caught Novel Fever and would like to start another novel. I should also read over the one that I wrote at some point but I'm a tad worried it will sound...let's see...underdeveloped. Incoherent. Rushed even though it's 50,000 words. Jumping around a lot. Lacking in plot development like a terrible horror movie though not in a good way like a terrible horror movie. I still want to write essays based on terrible horror movies. Applying literary theory and what not. Add that to the list!
I also think I'm going to start bringing back the wrist rubber band. The actual name I have given it when I wear a rubber band around my wrist dates back to this doctor I had in high school who suggested that I wear a rubber band around my wrist and whenever I had a negative thought about myself, I should snap it. This was supposed to help with my poorly low self-esteem. I thought it was one of the dumbest things that I had ever heard, mostly because I kind of thought I had made it clear that I was harboring self-injury tendencies and here she was encouraging it. But I did it. I don't think it really achieved the goal because the only way it corrects the behavior is after your wrist is red and sore you think, wow, I should stop doing whatever it was that made me snap that endlessly. But does that correct the actual root of the problem? No, no it does not. So long story short my name for this therapy is the Suicidal Snap Band because it was suggested when I was having such thoughts. The problems that were the problems at the time are no longer problems, but in my head this is the name it will always have. That doctor was pretty stupid overall. I did bring the band back when I was quitting smoking one of the 5o times I quit (I am still quit, except for the occasional cigar) and also when I worked at Chili's when I would get too annoyed by customers. This is the main reason I'm going to bring it back now, because people at both jobs will annoy me and I really just need to take it down a notch and calm down. Let go and let God. That type of thing. Energy that is going towards negativity should be harnessed and converted to positive projects. Like writing! See, it all circles back to each other.
In conclusion, sometimes I think to myself, I should tell my parents that I'm sorry for this thing that I did when I was a kid once I learn the lesson years later. Like today when my car was taking forever to warm up, I thought to myself, I remember complaining as a child when it was freezingass cold out and the car didn't warm up fast enough and in my child peabrain this was on my parents. But now I realize, not true. It's all on the weather and the car. So apologies to my parents for anytime that I whined that the air coming out of the vents was cold when it should have been magically warm. Time to start sifting through a lot of bad poetry!
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